Bigwin casino login free chips.Makakuha ng libreng 700pho sa bawat deposito https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/las-vegas-casinos/ Essential Las Vegas News, Tips, Deals and WTF. Sat, 14 Sep 2024 23:07:30 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.4.5 El Cortez Drops Sexy Casino Renovation Renderings https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/el-cortez-drops-sexy-casino-renovation-renderings/ https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/el-cortez-drops-sexy-casino-renovation-renderings/#comments Sat, 14 Sep 2024 22:50:48 +0000 https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/?p=41486 A classic downtown casino, El Cortez, announced back in May 2024 it will pump $20 million into a number of new enhancements. Now, we’re getting a look at these spaces, including a new high limit lounge, two new bars and a new restaurant, Hot Noods. If we sound giddy, it’s because we’re giddy. Renderings are […]

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A classic downtown casino, El Cortez, announced back in May 2024 it will pump $20 million into a number of new enhancements.

Now, we’re getting a look at these spaces, including a new high limit lounge, two new bars and a new restaurant, Hot Noods.

If we sound giddy, it’s because we’re giddy. Renderings are the next best thing to foot rubs and chicken parm. Separately. The Venn diagram of foot rubs and chicken parm should never, ever overlap. On to the renderings!

El Cortez has great deals, a fighting chance in the casino and employees who treat customers like family. You know, 1975.

Construction of the new offerings is already underway, and should be completed in February of 2025.

A good portion of the El Cortez casino floor is walled off, which is disorienting, but no pain no gain.

We spent 15 minutes trying to come up with a different way of saying “no pain, no gain,” but all we got was “no hurt, no dessert” and “no burn, no return” and “no whine, no shine.” Which explains why idioms are idioms and one shouldn’t try and reinvent the wheel.

Ike’s Bar was right behind that construction wall. We are very nervous someone is going to think that bank of slots is the restroom. It’s downtown, all due respect.

Speaking of restrooms, we have never seen this other than at El Cortez.

Let’s move on to something less awkward, shan’t we?

The sexiest El Cortez rendering is for a new roulette-inspired bar. It will replace the reliable, but not particularly sexy, Ike’s Bar. Ike’s Bar has been around since 2017, further evidence we have been doing this Las Vegas blog far too long.

No spin needed, this is hawt.

Dreamy, and we trust there will only be one zero.

Here’s another angle.

El Cortez isn’t having sex reassignment surgery, more like a vaginal rejuvenation. Look, we had to think of something that won’t be in their news releases.

Also impressive is a new bar they’re referring to as “Show Bar.”

Show Bar will have a 20-foot video screen, as well as a stage for live music (despite our best efforts).

Shout-out to any Millenial who knows what a “Casablanca” is. We actually met the writer, Julius Epstein. Weird flex, but true.

A new high limit slot area will have about 50 machines, along with a bar and the perfunctory TV screens for people who can’t be away from sports for five minutes or their head will explode.

The current high limit room at El Cortez doesn’t get a lot of action, except from slot influencers, but that could change.

As mentioned, the casino refresh will also include a new restaurant, Hot Noods by Chinglish.

Chinglish Cantonese Wine Bar and Kosher Chinglish closed in June 2024 in Summerlin, about 10 minutes west of The Strip. Chinglish is family-owned, from Kitty Heck and Ken Heck, and chef Po Fai Lam and Anna Lam (Kitty Lam’s parents). The restaurants were popular, but didn’t pencil out in their Boca Park locations.

A welcome addition to the line-up of restaurants at El Cortez. You know it’s slim pickings when they list Eureka as one of their dining options and it’s across the street.

Large swaths of El Cortez are being given some love.

Don’t freak out. They’re getting 100 additional slot machines as part of the expansion.

The expansion is being led by McCarthy Building Companies, Ike Gaming, Jive Architecture and Kenneth Ussenko Design, an interior design firm.

El Cortez is a throwback to a different era. It’s grittier than most Las Vegas casinos, and they are trying to keep their longtime regulars happy while keeping up with the expectations of younger and potentially higher-end customers. That balance is not easy. Just ask Station Casinos. They tried it at Palms and neither type of customer was particularly happy with the evolution of the resort. The nightclub/dayclub kids hated the olds, and the olds hated them back. It was Kaos. Station Casinos ended up selling Palms to the San Manuel tribe just to make the bleeding stop.

El Cortez seems to understand its existing appeal to loyal customers (many of whom are value-driven grinders who love coin machines from the 1980s), so the trick is to, as an El Cortez news release puts it, “ensure each of the new spaces embraces the iconic elegance of the property while adding a splash of modern details and energy to take the experience into the next generation.” Like a shark, casinos die if they don’t move forward. Which is a ridiculous myth, by the way. Not all idioms get it right, people are just too lazy to come up with better ones.

Anyway, building a bridge between the past and future is no small feat. We were going to say “no mean feat,” but our fellow youths would make a WTF face and stop reading our story to post a dance video on TikTok, so we’re going with “small feat.”

During our most recent visit, the unique mix of old and new customers (as well as tourists and locals) at El Cortez was evident. The casino was absolutely packed (made to feel even more crowded given a third of El Cortez is behind construction walls now), and the energy of new blood was undeniable.

Younger, table games players (many bar-hopping in the Fremont East district) were taking advantage of the low table minimums and beer carts in the table games pit. Seasoned locals were in the video poker room, with a sound, flavor and fragrance all its own.

This room, including the machines and people in it, is a national treasure. We know, because we are they.

If you ever yearned to see why casinos dropped coin-operated slot machines, look no further than El Cortez. Coin machines are a pain in the ass, with bags of 2,000 quarters ($500) weighing 25 pounds, and dollar coin bags ($600) weighing 30 pounds. It’s a non-stop cavalcade of lugging and loading and jamming and mechanical repairs. El Cortez offers these machines because their customers love them, plain and simple.

As we’ve seen at other casinos, El Cortez is not only sprucing the place up, but adding spaces (like the high limit room) for “aspirational” customers, or customers that may not exist for them quite yet in large numbers.

Remember, this is the casino where there are signs on the slot machines that say, “Complimentary beverages available when actively wagering a minimum of 40 cents.” We are not making this up.

Freeloaders gonna freeload.

Grinders are demanding and fickle, too much change and they’ll bolt. As El Cortez unveils these new venues, it will truly be able say it has “something for everyone.”

Well, maybe not everyone. El Cortez is a 21-plus resort now, for which its owner Kenny Epstein and his management team are to be commended.

You can bet we’ll be poking our head into El Cortez as these renovations move forward.

El Cortez is a truly one-of-a-kind holdover from another time and vibe. Anyone who gripes that “old Vegas” is gone hasn’t been to El Cortez. With its expansion, the downtown casino will continue to honor its colorful past (Bugsy Siegel as a co-owner back in the day) while integrating more contemporary panache.

You know, panache. Drip. Rizz. Mod.

Sorry, Mr. Epstein, we have to try and keep up with our fellow youths and their bussin’ argot.

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First Look Inside Suncoast’s New Sportsbook, Plus Renovation Details https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/first-look-inside-suncoasts-new-sportsbook-plus-renovation-details/ https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/first-look-inside-suncoasts-new-sportsbook-plus-renovation-details/#comments Tue, 03 Sep 2024 22:56:04 +0000 https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/?p=41348 A local’s favorite, Suncoast, is undergoing a massive overhaul, and the casino’s new sportsbook opens Sep. 4, 2024. We are not a fan of “waiting” until things are “open.” We are more of a “sneak preview” person (along “with” being a “gratuitous quotation mark” person, “obviously”). So, we grabbed some pics of the new Suncoast […]

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A local’s favorite, Suncoast, is undergoing a massive overhaul, and the casino’s new sportsbook opens Sep. 4, 2024.

We are not a fan of “waiting” until things are “open.” We are more of a “sneak preview” person (along “with” being a “gratuitous quotation mark” person, “obviously”). So, we grabbed some pics of the new Suncoast sportsbook while it’s still behind curtains.

We’ve also got the skinny on what else is going on at Suncoast. There’s an ass-ton and there will be a quiz.

We are not a sports person, but we we know a sexy man cave when we see one.

Suncoast is about 10 minutes west of the Las Vegas Strip, in Summerlin. Summerlin is also home to Red Rock Casino, and we’re pretty sure Boyd Gaming is making a substantial investment in Suncoast because Red Rock has set a new bar for locals casinos and Boyd wants a piece of that action.

Sportsbooks aren’t big moneymakers for casinos, but they’re an amenity appreciated by locals.

Suncoast’s new sportsbook will satisfy all your high-fiving and butt-slapping needs.

Suncoast has done its sportsbook right, gleaning winning aspects of other sportsbooks (both its own places and competing casinos), bringing together all those best practices in its new venue.

One of the trends Suncoast follows is making the most of automated kiosks, rather than human bet-takers. The existing Suncoast sportsbook has more than a dozen live betting windows, the new sportsbook has four.

Most bettors are wagering on kiosks and apps now. Please keep up.

Suncoast went all-in on its videos screens and capability. I’m sure they’ll add all the technical specs in their upcoming news release, but we’re pretty sure Suncoast’s video display, at 1,700 square feet, is second only to Circa’s in sheer girth.

Seating is ample, with booths and individual seating, providing a lot of flexibility for groups and reserved tables during big sportsball events.

The bar is beautiful, and there are 26 video poker machines in the sportsbook, with 18 at the bar itself.

The video poker bar outside the showroom did bupkis. This will do boffo. We’ll wait for our fellow youths to Google these terms.

Suncoast’s sportsbook sits where the showroom used to be, one of several moves and renovations in the works.

A new high limit slot room opened in the former buffet space. A new food court is coming to that part of the casino as well. Boyd knocked it out of the park with its food court at Fremont casino, and it would be great to see a similar mix of offerings at Suncoast. The fast food offerings are a smidge on the underwhelming side at this point, Subwaywise.

The existing sportsbook will close up when the new one opens, and that will become a new bingo room (relocated from the second floor, that space will now be used for meetings and conferences).

Here’s the current sportsbook. We figured you might want to say goodbye.

It wasn’t bad, it was just sort of meh.

Bingo doesn’t make much for casinos, either. There’s a reason there are no bingo rooms on The Strip.

Here’s a rendering of what’s coming to the previous sportsbook space.

If you keep your yapper shut, Boyd’s lawyers won’t notice.

Also planned is a glorious, 70-seat center bar. We don’t know what it will be called, but it will be right in the center of the casino (the current casino video poker bar is going away).

Cocktail servers will no longer have to use the casino bar as a service bar. They’ll make the drinks in a new back-of-house space just for them. We asked a server what she thought of making her own cocktails, she said, “Ask us in a month or two.” Will do.

Suncoast’s bowling center is also getting a revamp, along with the front desk and hotel check-in area (rendering below).

Check-in line at Paris, 14 miles long. Check-in line at Suncoast, just those two people.

The excellent and relatively new William B’s Steakhouse at Suncoast should get more love than it does, as it’s a Strip-quality steakhouse, just with better prices. It’s what we call an “aspirational” offering at Suncoast, a venue for a customer it may not exactly have yet. (Ditto the sportsbook and fancy new center bar.)

Boyd Gaming tends to be careful with its financial investments (the company is still experiencing institutional trauma from the closure of Stardust and the failed Echelon project, now the site of Resorts World), but the locals market continue to deliver strong results, and Boyd is doing its revamp thoughtfully and with solid execution to-date.

The company expects all the Suncoast upgrades to be completed in mid-2026.

When it comes to changes at locals casinos, even for the better, you can’t do anything too quickly or dramatically. It’s jarring. Regulars will have freak-outs. This isn’t a happy-go-lucky tourist crowd, they’re unforgiving and aren’t shy about expressing their grievances. Some grinders have still not emotionally recovered from casinos changing from coins to paper vouchers. They like what they like. Locals casinos are extensions of their own homes.

Sometimes, when locals casinos move slot machines around, they post signs telling regulars where their favorite machines went. We are not making this up.

Suncoast’s new sportsbook opens to the public at 11:00 a.m. on Sep. 4, 2024.

Big thanks to Suncoast for not booting us out following our “security breach.”

Update (9/4/24): Here’s more from the aforementioned news release following the opening on the Suncoast sportsbook. “”The stadium-style sports viewing experience includes one of the largest high-resolution, wrap-around LED screens in the Las Vegas Valley, measuring over fifteen-and-a-half feet tall, with a surface area of more than 1,700 square feet. The sportsbook features deco-inspired channel-tufted booths, rows of contemporary lounge seating, a 130-foot-long sports ticker and an 18-seat bar offering commanding views of the impressive video wall.”

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Tropicana Implosion Scheduled for Oct. 9 https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/tropicana-casino-implosion-scheduled-for-oct-9/ https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/tropicana-casino-implosion-scheduled-for-oct-9/#comments Mon, 26 Aug 2024 22:33:11 +0000 https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/?p=41303 Tropicana finally has an implosion date: Oct. 9, 2024 at 2:30 a.m. (or late night on Oct. 8). We almost said “much-anticipated,” but it doesn’t really feel that way. The closure of Tropicana barely caused a ripple in the Vegas zeitgeist, the reaction to the implosion date has been pretty much the same: Meh. You […]

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Tropicana finally has an implosion date: Oct. 9, 2024 at 2:30 a.m. (or late night on Oct. 8).

We almost said “much-anticipated,” but it doesn’t really feel that way. The closure of Tropicana barely caused a ripple in the Vegas zeitgeist, the reaction to the implosion date has been pretty much the same: Meh. You know, an anti-climax, something with which we are definitely not familiar.

That said, the implosion of what’s left of Tropicana (the majority of the demolition has already been done) is the first big Vegas implosion in nearly a decade, so let’s make some boom, already.

Trop opened April 4, 1957, closed April 2, 2024. We’re convinced they closed two days earlier than the anniversary just to annoy us.

Both the Tropicana towers will be brought down at the same time, the 22-story Tropicana Club tower and 22-story Paradise Tower.

The last Las Vegas casino implosion was August 16, 2016, when the final tower of the Riviera came down. Implosions have fallen out of favor in recent years, with demolition companies preferring to dismantle buildings instead.

Despite happening at 2:30 a.m., the Trop implosion will be accompanied by the requisite hoopla, including a drone and fireworks display.

Why is the Tropicana being imploded at 2:30 a.m.? Several reasons. While hoopla is part of the experience, the early morning timing has to do with minimizing disruption.

The Trop is very near the airport, so there’s that. There are myriad safety factors involved with an implosion (asbestos has been mitigated, but there’s still debris and dust clouds involved), so the smaller the crowd, the better. And don’t get us started about traffic snarls.

Yeah, sort of a mixed message. This is mostly for the media, not the general public. This is a lot about P.R.

The Tropicana implosion is being presented as a joint “commemorative event” with the A’s and Bally’s Corporation, operator of the Tropicana.

Both these entities have made some big promises for what’s next on the Tropicana site, but skepticism abounds.

Neither entity has shown they have the financial wherewithal to fund their whimsical projects.

The A’s confirmed they have no financing for a ballpark in July 2024.

Bally’s Corp. made headlines by being acquired by its largest stockholder, Standard General, but that has zero to do with financing a Las Vegas resort. There was a glimmer of hope when Gaming and Leisure Properties (the owner of the Tropicana land) agreed to pay for a Bally’s project in Chicago, but to put it in plain English, Bally’s is tapped out.

Essentially, they’re paving Paradise Tower to put up a parking lot.

The plan, even prior to the A’s debacle, was the demolish Tropicana. It has always struggled, and it was time to bid the old girl farewell.

Here’s an overview of Las Vegas casino demolitions.




So, what’s the best way to view the Tropicana implosion? From your couch at home, of course!

If you insist upon seeing the implosion for yourself, the best views of the Tropicana implosion will be from hotel rooms surrounding the site. The hotels include MGM Grand, New York-New York, Excalibur and Luxor.

We’re fairly sure all those room rates have surged since the implosion date announcement was made.

Serendipity has graced the tiny Oyo, as it’s right next to Tropicana and will provide a front row seat for the implosion. In fact, Oyo was ahead of the curve and is doing an implosion promotion.

In our experience, casino implosions are a lot like sex. It’s a lot of hype, then 15 seconds of entertainment and lots of frustration trying to figure out how to get home afterward.

The implosion of the Tropicana will be an old-school Las Vegas event, but the real fireworks will start once the dust clears. The A’s and Bally’s deals are likely to go sideways and it could be years before anything of use will be built on the Tropicana site.

We’ll be there when it all blows up.

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Fancy New Poker Room Opens at Palazzo https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/fancy-new-poker-room-opens-at-palazzo/ https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/fancy-new-poker-room-opens-at-palazzo/#comments Fri, 02 Aug 2024 23:12:29 +0000 https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/?p=41042 Venetian has opened a shiny new poker room, which is technically at Palazzo. Yes, it can be confusing, and don’t look to us to unconfuse anything, we are not in that business. We are in the disappointing opening paragraph business, and business is good. The new poker room is on the second floor of the […]

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Venetian has opened a shiny new poker room, which is technically at Palazzo. Yes, it can be confusing, and don’t look to us to unconfuse anything, we are not in that business. We are in the disappointing opening paragraph business, and business is good.

The new poker room is on the second floor of the Grand Canal Shoppes at Palazzo, Venetian’s mellower, less self-important sibling.

The new poker room is being touted as the biggest in Las Vegas, boasting 50 tables (formerly 35) and 14,000-square-feet of backdoor action.

The original paintings of dogs playing poker (1894), by Cassius Marcellus Coolidge, were created to advertise cigars. Nobody’s perfect.

“Backdoor” is when a player has a low chance of winning but ends up doing so by getting the right cards. Why, what were you thinking?

Naturally, we gave you a heads up that the new poker room was ready to make its debut a few days ago on the Twitters.

The Venetian’s previous poker room was taking up valuable space on the casino’s main floor.

Poker doesn’t make much money for casinos, which is one of the reasons poker rooms have been closing over the past few years. Slot machines are the money makers.

Poker is an amenity for guests, like spas, hair salons and those romance kits in hotel room minibars.

Venetian shared some pics from opening day, including some of Shin Lim and his infamous bed head, formerly of the now-closed Mirage.

The poker room has a self-serve Coke and coffee station. That will never last, but love the idea.

The new poker room will also have a dedicated streaming room, handy for vloggers, later this year.

We had to snag that blurb from the Venetian Web site so you can test your proofreading skills and feel superior to whatever poor person is responsible for their site.

Sorry, Web person. We’ve done your gig, we feel your pain.

Here’s more from the Venetian Web site, “In addition to the expanded space, the new poker room features a range of amenities aimed at enhancing player comfort and enjoyment. From self-serve Coca-Cola soda fountain and coffee to online ordering from Black Tap, Miznon and others; to USB and USB-C charging ports at every seat; TVs throughout the venue; and dedicated restrooms, every aspect of the experience was curated with the players in mind. The room also has kiosks for both the resort’s loyalty program, Venetian Rewards, and sports betting operated by William Hill.”

The Venetian Poker Room, which, again, is at Palazzo, is open 24 hours daily.

Fun fact: “Players in the poker room who play three hours or more in tournament or cash games will receive complimentary self-parking for the day.” Just find a supervisor at the end of your session.

If you haven’t been to Vegas in awhile, yes, Venetian and Palazzo charge for parking now. So does the Wynn across the street. Thanks a lot, The Sphere.

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Texas Bartender Wins $2.2 Million on Wheel of Fortune at Palms https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/texas-bartender-wins-2-2-million-on-wheel-of-fortune-at-palms/ https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/texas-bartender-wins-2-2-million-on-wheel-of-fortune-at-palms/#comments Sun, 28 Jul 2024 01:06:11 +0000 https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/?p=40979 It’s the Vegas dream in a nutshell: Palms guest from Texas wins $2.2 million on Wheel of Fortune with a $3 bet with leftover vouchers. When the win happened, there was 46 cents in credits remaining. All this while waiting for food from McDonald’s in the Palms food court. We’ve got all the details of […]

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It’s the Vegas dream in a nutshell: Palms guest from Texas wins $2.2 million on Wheel of Fortune with a $3 bet with leftover vouchers. When the win happened, there was 46 cents in credits remaining.

All this while waiting for food from McDonald’s in the Palms food court.

We’ve got all the details of this life-altering win.

Sorry about the rough language, Mom, but it’s a lot of money.

First word of the win, a whopping $2,170,581.77, was shared by the Las Vegas Review-Journal.

Kidding! They suck harder than a Dyson trying to drink an In N Out shake. The Review-Journal hasn’t broken a story since Elvis signed for a two-week run at New Frontier in 1956. And that was probably the Sun.

It was us. We shared it first. Do you know this blog at all?

The next day, Palms confirmed the win in typical fashion, with a Tweet that looks like it was written by a cap key-challenged middle schooler.

We blocked Palms months ago because such amateurish social marketing gives us a rash.

Here are the details you won’t get elsewhere.

The winner was, as mentioned earlier, a bartender from Texas. Then again, after her win, it may be “former bartender.”

She was, and is, staying at Palms and was part of a group of 30-40 people here for a wedding.

We’re told the winner didn’t have the money to come to Vegas, so a friend picked up the plane ticket.

The jackpot winner was playing Wheel of Fortune near the food court with friends, and said she wanted to get rid of her leftover vouchers in the amount of $2 and 98 cents. As the bet was $3, that wasn’t the total amount put into the machine, we heard it was about $20 (via security in the casino).

As mentioned, she won on her very last max bet spin, or $3. Just 46 cents remained.

Initial reports from casino staff claimed the lucky visitor won on her “third spin,” but that was figurative, not literal.

Reports are when she hit the $2.2 million jackpot, it was “pandemonium,” as friends, other players (and a good number of security guards) swarmed the machine to congratulate the winner.

From what we’re told, the big win couldn’t have happened to a nicer person, and she’s faced a personal loss in recent months.

The winner now has a 24/7 escort from Palms security, and she and her boyfriend have been upgraded to a seriously nice penthouse.

We’re told Palms closed down an entire bar for the winner and other wedding attendees last night, pretty much everything comped.

The Las Vegas dream isn’t something just concocted out of nothing, like A’s ballpark attendance projections (“We expect 33,000 people at every Las Vegas game in this 30,000-seat ballpark!”), multimillion-dollar jackpots are real and happen on a fairly regular basis.

Big jackpots (called “wide area progressives,” or WAPs) aren’t paid by casinos, they’re paid by the slot manufacturer, in this case IGT. Slot manufacturer IGT says it has made 1,180 millionaires on its Wheel of Fortune machines.

As with many jackpot winners, the lucky winner at Palms wants to keep her name out of news coverage. Not so much her photo, as Palms shared a group pic of the winner and her friends on Facebook.

Seconds until Palms blocks us on Facebook, 3…2…you know, rather than wasting all that time learning to write like a professional social marketer.

We know how you are, and we asked if she tipped after her big win, but the answer wasn’t forthcoming. In the vast majority of big wins, people don’t tip. There are lots of reasons, including that many big winners don’t realize tipping attendants or other staff is customary, or they don’t have cash on them, or the paperwork process can take hours and often the staff who assisted them aren’t around.

In this case, we’d have tipped the McDonald’s staff for their slow service that provided time for this jackpot to hit!

This whole scenario is great for the winner, her friends and Palms. It’s been quiet over there, with Rio getting all the attention for its renovations and new venues across the street.

The Palms food court needs a rebrand to the Bajillionaire-Maker Collective and Immersive Food Hall.

Palms is owned and operated by the San Manuel tribe, or possibly the Yaamava tribe, nobody can quite keep up. (The wildly successful San Manuel casino in southern California changed its name to Yaamava awhile back, just to give the marketing team a challenge.)

Actually, Palms technically owned and operated by the San Manuel Gaming and Hospitality Authority. The tribe didn’t want to have its entire leadership scrutinized by gaming regulators, so this “affiliate” of the tribe helped move things along.

San Manuel was the first tribe to own a Las Vegas casino. The Seminoles operate the now-closed Mirage (Vici Properties owns it), and will turn it into Hard Rock Las Vegas. The Mohegan tribe operates the casino at Virgin, but they’re being shown the door.

The tale of this incredible win at Palms is a reminder that all you need in Las Vegas is a few bucks and eternal optimism to make your dreams come true. Google Maps directions to the Chicken Ranch wouldn’t hurt, but mostly those other things!

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Venetian Player Wins $2.2 Million at World’s Most Boring Game https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/venetian-player-wins-2-2-million-at-worlds-most-boring-game/ https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/venetian-player-wins-2-2-million-at-worlds-most-boring-game/#respond Thu, 25 Jul 2024 00:46:44 +0000 https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/?p=40953 A lucky bastard at Venetian snagged a $2.2 million prize playing what is arguably the most boring casino game, Face Up Pai Gow. The side bet that resulted in this windfall: $5. That, folks, is why Las Vegas is still a thing. It’s not sports or buffets or boobs. All right, boobs remain very important, […]

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A lucky bastard at Venetian snagged a $2.2 million prize playing what is arguably the most boring casino game, Face Up Pai Gow.

The side bet that resulted in this windfall: $5.

That, folks, is why Las Vegas is still a thing. It’s not sports or buffets or boobs. All right, boobs remain very important, but $2 million is nothing to sneeze at.

It’s all about the “moneta.” We were going to call them “greenbacks,” but we have already been canceled 17 times this week.

Venetian shared word of the progressive jackpot win via its Twitter account, which lemmings refer to as “X.”

The player won with a seven card straight flush. The probability of getting this hand (the Joker is wild) is 0.00000127, or about the same chances as a guy hooking up in a Vegas nightclub wearing Crocs. Read more math.

Progressives do happen on a fairly regular basis, though. In January 2023, a poker pro won a $6.4 million Pai Gow jackpot at Flamingo. In February 2024, a player won $1.2 million playing Pai Gow at Planet Hollywood.

Why do we say Pai Gow is boring? Simple. Have you ever seen someone playing Pai Gow while operating heavy machinery? Of course not. That’s because it’s against the law.

Basically, people play Pai Gow for the comped drinks. And the occasional $2.2 million progressive jackpot.

The exact amount was $2,211,469, for the record. We are not making up the 69 part.

If you’re interested in Pai Gow, and you shouldn’t be, Venetian’s Web site has instructions for how to play.

Basically, you get seven cards. You split the cards into two hands, the “high hand” (five cards) and “low hand” (two cards), based upon traditional poker.

To win, both hands have to beat the dealer. If both hands lose, the player loses. If it’s 50/50, it’s a “push,” and nobody wins or loses.

It’s this pattern, times a gazillion. There’s a lot of pushing.

Big congrats to the jackpot winner at Venetian.

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Tuscany Casino Ponies Up $150 Free Play for New Loyalty Club Members https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/tuscany-casino-ponies-up-150-free-play-for-new-loyalty-club-members/ https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/tuscany-casino-ponies-up-150-free-play-for-new-loyalty-club-members/#comments Thu, 13 Jun 2024 00:03:34 +0000 https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/?p=40566 The Tuscany is going hard to attract gamblers to its off-Strip casino. The casino’s DaVinci Rewards program is offering the most generous sign-up promotion we can recall seeing, ever. New members get a guaranteed $150 in free play. The promotion started on June 1, 2024. This promotion is giving off “all-you-can-eat shrimp at Red Lobster” […]

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The Tuscany is going hard to attract gamblers to its off-Strip casino.

The casino’s DaVinci Rewards program is offering the most generous sign-up promotion we can recall seeing, ever. New members get a guaranteed $150 in free play. The promotion started on June 1, 2024.

This promotion is giving off “all-you-can-eat shrimp at Red Lobster” vibes, so take advantage before the plug is pulled.

Tuscany Las Vegas
It should’ve been Tuscany Casino & Suites, but nobody asked us, shockingly.

Tuscany Suites and Casino is about three minutes east of the Las Vegas Strip on Flamingo Blvd.

A news release about the promotion says: “New members instantly receive $40 in free slot play upon signing up at the players club. If they provide a valid email address, they’ll get an extra $10, bringing their total to $50 in free slot play on their first day as members.”

Yes, the e-mail thing is a minor hitch, but keep in mind many casinos offer $10 for new sign-ups, sometimes nothing. Approximately 94% of people give fake e-mail addresses to casinos when they sign up for the loyalty club.

They’re asking for e-mail addresses because such promotions are essentially forking over perks to build the casino’s marketing database.

Here’s how to get the additional $100 in free play: “New members who sign up will be eligible to receive free slot play on their next two trips, which should differ from their initial sign-up date. On their second trip, they should visit the players club (or the cage/table games pit when the club is closed) to receive an additional $50 in free slot play. On their third trip, they should again visit the players club (or the cage/table games pit when the club is closed) to receive a final $50 in free slot play, totaling $150 in free slot play over the three visits. This free slot play will be valid for 30 days from the day it is issued.”

Honestly, there are surprisingly few hoops to jump through to get this generous free play. You have to get the additional $100 ($50 per visit) within 30 days of the initial sign-up.

Tuscany casino
Few phrases bring more joy to the hearts of gamblers than “free play.”

The news release also says this: “Tuscany Suites and Casino has the right to cancel or adjust this new member sign-up initiative at any time and manage new member sign-up incentive eligibility.”

Like we said, act now.

Casinos have to justify such free play programs, and while Tuscany is likely to get a lot of takers, they’re unlikely to get many quality customers in the process. Many grinders will come to the Tuscany exactly three times and not risk a penny more than their free slot play. The casino is hoping the return will exceed the cost. Free play isn’t real money, per se, but players can definitely win using it as the machine doesn’t know the difference between real money and free play.

If you thought a story about DaVinci Rewards wouldn’t have an A.I. image of DaVinci playing slots, you do not know this blog at all.

A customer acquisition program this aggressive is a bold move, but there’s a reason it’s unique. When you offer free play, you get customers looking for free play. It’s like when a casino offers $1 blackjack or $5 craps. You get players seeking $1 blackjack and $5 craps. They’re often high maintenance, tip poorly (or not at all), don’t patronize restaurants, book rooms or buy show tickets, and they rarely contribute positively to the casino vibe. Yes, it’s awkward, but if you’ve read this far, you’re looking for the realness, not fluff.

On the bright side, Tuscany got its table games back!

If you haven’t visited this casino before, now’s the time. There’s a Circa sportsbook, Pub 365 is reliably reliable, a solid snack bar and the rooms are cheap as hell, often $40-50 midweek.

Tuscany is nothing fancy, which is just the way we like our casinos. Make sure to let us know how much you win using The Man’s free play!

Update (6/17/24): Our Red Lobster analogy was fitting, as Tuscany quickly realize this promotion was too good to be true. A ton of new conditions have been added to this promotion, so heads up. Now, new members (non-locals) get their $50 in free play (if they provide an e-mail address), but have to earn 250 players points before getting an additional $50 free play, but a week has to pass before getting the second $50, and two weeks have to pass before getting the third installment ($50). All of this has to happen in 30 days. What visitor is going to do that? There are slightly fewer hoops for locals, but still.

These conditions bring the promotion more in line with typical new sign-up offers. It was fun for the two weeks it lasted.

Tuscany has added a ton of new caveats.

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Fontainebleau Reportedly Removes Obstacle to Success, Peter Arnell https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/fontainebleau-reportedly-removes-obstacle-to-success-peter-arnell/ https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/fontainebleau-reportedly-removes-obstacle-to-success-peter-arnell/#comments Thu, 06 Jun 2024 00:24:05 +0000 https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/?p=40452 The marketing of Fontainebleau Las Vegas has been an unmitigated disaster, contributing to the resort’s losses of hundreds of thousands of dollars a day. The blame would typically fall on casino marketing and advertising personnel at the resort, but in this case, it falls squarely on a guy named Peter Arnell, Chief Brand and Design […]

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The marketing of Fontainebleau Las Vegas has been an unmitigated disaster, contributing to the resort’s losses of hundreds of thousands of dollars a day.

The blame would typically fall on casino marketing and advertising personnel at the resort, but in this case, it falls squarely on a guy named Peter Arnell, Chief Brand and Design Officer for Fontainebleau Development.

Industry chatter is Fontainebleau is parting ways with Arnell, paving the way for marketing (including social marketing) and advertising with an actual clue. We haven’t heard back yet from Fontainebleau about this rumor, but assuming it’s true, it’s the best news out of Fontainebleau since it opened, a glimmer of hope for the ailing Strip casino.

This could also be interpreted as “Fontainebleau is fire,” for the record.

We’ve been playfully poking at Fontainebleau’s marketing since before the resort opened.

Getting information about the $3.7 billion casino was like pulling teeth. The resort chose to go for a “big reveal,” a strategy that hasn’t been effective since 1974.

Once the casino opened, it was clear the hand guiding the brand and its marketing wasn’t local.

New York-based Peter Arnell was at one time a revered designer and branding executive. He has been involved with some of the world’s biggest brands, including Chrysler, Pepsi, Reebok, Donna Karan and others.

Arnell has been intimately involved with Fontainebleau Las Vegas due to his longtime relationship with Jeffrey Soffer, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Fontainebleau Development. Here’s more about the partnership.

What most people don’t know is Peter Arnell is universally disliked inside Fontainebleau, and has been responsible for a lot of the friction leading to executive firings and resignations. There have been a lot.

The main reasons for the chaotic culture at Fontainebleau? Simply put, unrealistic expectations and meddling.

Recently, the toxic culture at Fontainebleau has been less toxic. Partially, because Maurice Wooden has taken over as president. Licensing approval to be determined, but Wooden is a hands-on leader and a people person with a solid track record in the industry. Additionally, because Arnell’s involvement has made a difficult task (operating a casino resort without hotel or casino databases) a virtually impossible one. As he’s stepped away, things have settled a bit.

Here’s cue card advocate Arnell (for some unknown reason) on a New Year’s Eve broadcast touting Fontainebleau. We actually know the reason: Ego. But just watch. Oh, and please ignore how quiet the crowd is when legendary Paul Anka asks if they remember “Diana.”




The sound you hear is the flushing of dollars, a common pattern at Fontainebleau, especially in the realm of marketing and advertising.

Fontainebleau has wasted millions of dollars on incomprehensible outdoor advertising, all with baffling flourishes that fail every exam in Advertising 101 exam. Behold, possibly the worst font since Comic Sans. Comic Sans would actually be more legible.

One of the more baffling aspects of Fontainebleau’s horrible marketing is the fact the resort had a world-class Chief Marketing Officer, Shane Smith. Smith resigned. Why? Because he was competent at his job, and he wasn’t allowed to do it. The reason: Peter Arnell.

Virtually everything associated with the marketing of Fontainebleau is predicated on a bad assumption: That people know what Fontainebleau is or that they give a shit.

Fontainebleau might be a thing in Florida, but the name means virtually nothing in Las Vegas. Everything about Fontainebleau’s advertising exudes arrogance. The “build it and they will come” attitude has failed miserably.

We are still scratching our head about this.

This masturbatory video had about 200 views until we publicly ridiculed it.

What is this Memorial Day message intended to mean, exactly? Does Fontainebleau want the public to associate its brand to cringing and head-scratching?

Arnell’s sensibility and strategies are holdovers from a different time. They are antiquated and the evidence of that is easy to see: The performance of Fontainebleau Las Vegas. There’s nobody at the helm, and the culture at Fontainebleau, prior to now, hasn’t fostered question-asking or disagreement with the decisions being made. Don’t get us started about Paul Anka as celebrity endorsement partner, legendary status or not.

Arnell may not have been personally responsible for the baffling advertising, but he signed off.

Here’s another ad. “Dare to Stay.” We dare you to guess what in the hell this woman is doing?

The truth is Fontainebleau can’t afford to keep screwing around and dumping its resources into the abyss. The resort is reportedly losing $400,000 a day.

Fontainebleau is reportedly spending $108,00 a day on advertising. That is physically painful to type.

What now? Let casino marketing professionals do what they do. Start with the logos. They are terrible. How bad? Fontainebleau had its main logo on the building, off center, for several months but removed it after we publicly badgered them to do so. Yes, we’re taking credit.

At first glance, it appears Fontainebleau is advertising paper clips.

Next, kill the lofty, pretentious, confusing tone, especially in social media. It’s not just forgettable, it’s actively repellant. Yes, Fontainebleau wants to be Wynn, but Wynn has established its brand and doesn’t even do much social marketing anymore. It doesn’t have to.

The bottom line: Get real. Modern marketing is about authenticity.

The most room for improvement is in Fontainebleau’s digital marketing. Find a tone that’s relevant to human beings. Stop talking about yourself non-stop. Be social (interact). Provide information or entertainment that’s of value and shareable. Lighten up and have fun.

We can’t build Fontainebleau’s marketing from scratch, but we suggest starting with a simple mission. Just show people how fantastic this place is.

Will that save Fontainebleau? No, not with its current players. Our guess is Fontainebleau will be out of the picture within a year. Koch, which owns 75% of Fontainebleau will run out of patience, and the resort will clean house and rebrand, in our humble opinion.

To be clear, while we sometimes seem to be criticizing Fontainebleau, we aren’t. We love the place and think it’s amazing. The choices made by leadership are often disappointing, and it’s hard to watch such a stunning resort shooting itself in the foot voluntarily every single day.

Peter Arnell should be thanked for his service and shown the door. His reported abrasive personality, lack of self-awareness and inability to accept the input of experienced people in the casino resort realm (hotel-casinos aren’t like regular hotels) have dug Fontainebleau’s hole deeper, a hole smoldering with the smoke and ash of talented individuals who are no longer at the resort, but who could have given it a fighting chance.

Let’s hope this is the last we hear of this ash hole.

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Rio Rolls Out Most Casino Carpet to Have Ever Casino Carpeted https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/rio-rolls-out-most-casino-carpet-to-have-ever-casino-carpeted/ https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/rio-rolls-out-most-casino-carpet-to-have-ever-casino-carpeted/#comments Mon, 27 May 2024 21:37:52 +0000 https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/?p=40320 If you love casinos, you are sort of obligated to love casino carpets. Rio has begun installation of what can only be described as the ultimate casino carpet, an utterly glorious addition to the pantheon of legendary casino carpets. The best part of sharing Rio’s new carpet is it’s the perfect excuse to mansplain. As […]

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If you love casinos, you are sort of obligated to love casino carpets.

Rio has begun installation of what can only be described as the ultimate casino carpet, an utterly glorious addition to the pantheon of legendary casino carpets.

The best part of sharing Rio’s new carpet is it’s the perfect excuse to mansplain. As if we need an excuse, but still. Drum roll, please.

The human eye can distinguish up to 10 million colors. Typically, not all at once.

Rio’s new carpeting checks all the boxes.

First and foremost, casino carpeting must help disguise stains and wear. Honestly, a plane loaded with giant tanks of multi-colored paint and glitter could crash on this carpet and nobody would be the wiser.

Second, the carpet is distinctive. It’s one-of-a-kind, as is required by casino law. This is why casino carpet fans can identify a casino by seeing just a small swatch of carpeting in a movie, TV show or TikTok video. This is very useful when there’s a casino robbery, often with grainy photos or video, and media outlets fail to included the location of the robbery.

During Rio’s carpet upgrade, it’s business up front, party in the back.

Third, you thought we were going to say something about the carpet being so garish it forces guests to keep their eyes at slot machine level to avoid migraines and motion sickness. That, however, is an urban myth. Shame on you.

Lastly, Rio’s carpet reinforces the brand times infinity. When Rio was purchased from Caesars Entertainment by Dreamscape Companies, they could’ve gone 100 different ways with it, including a rebrand, but no. The name and theme stay, and the tropical vibe isn’t going anywhere.

The carpet has a lot going on, to say the least, including the depiction of various animals, including a monkey.

“Marmoset’ comes from the French word for shrimp. Not the seafood kind of shrimp, the Kevin Hart kind. Because Kevin Hart is short, in case you’ve been living under a rock.

Monkeys will also be prominent in the under-construction Lapa Lounge (previously iBar).

There are also several kinds of birds featured in Rio’s new carpeting, including toucans.

Toucans declare as frugivores.

Rio’s carpet also has a seemingly incongruous object, a balloon. To the layperson, the inclusion of a balloon makes little sense in this tropical motif, but laypersons do not have the benefit of our vast wealth of knowledge acquired following four minutes of arduous Internet research. Balloons are a big deal in Brazil. Hot-air balloon enthusiasts, “baloeiros,” launch sometimes massive balloons in defiance of local laws, taking part in a longtime cultural tradition that sticks it to The Man.

Rio did their homework on this one.

We’ve been keeping an eye on all the changes at Rio, and the results of the vision and financial investment are already paying off. Dreamscape took over operations of Rio from Caesars Entertainment on Oct. 2, 2023.

During our most recent visit, we personally witnessed what’s known in the hospitality industry as “customers.” Shocking, right?

The casino floor was hopping, and the main casino had more energy than we’ve seen at Rio in a decade. The new Canteen Food Hall was bustling.

There was visibly better morale among resort employees, a remarkable evolution at a casino many had written off, including us.




People were having, wait for it, fun. Even we had fun, and we are jaded and tend to have a knee-jerk scoff response to anything resembling change.

Rio’s carpet is more than just carpet, it’s a symbol of a change in attitude. A pivot toward fun.

It’s a statement about where Rio is headed as Dreamscape’s investment continues to show itself across the resort. Rooms have been renovated. Long-dormant venues are reopening (like the Wine Cellar). The pool complex has been given a complete overhaul, same with the resort’s marquees.

The entire exterior of the hotel has been fitted with programmable LEDs.

Visual metaphor alert! We found this random Whoopee Cushion on Rio’s new carpet. No, really. Long story, fellow kids.

Dreamscape has been methodical and deliberate and is delivering on its promise to help Rio regain its glory days, albeit without the buffets and cheesy (but beloved) “Masquerade Show in the Sky.”

Rio has an uphill battle on its hands, given the years of neglect and awkward reviews, but this Rio isn’t that one, and Dreamscape’s $350 million renovation isn’t even done yet.

Rio is cheap, parking is free and while it still has a way to go, our fellow scoffers are in for a pleasant surprise when they revisit Rio.

Rio’s fresh carpeting isn’t the only thing that’s bright, the future seems to be, too.

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Rio Update: New President, Construction Pics, Wine Cellar is Well Hung Again https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/rio-update-new-president-construction-pics-wine-cellar-is-well-hung-again/ https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/rio-update-new-president-construction-pics-wine-cellar-is-well-hung-again/#comments Tue, 14 May 2024 01:44:15 +0000 https://www.ace-it-certifications.com/vitalvegas/?p=40138 There’s a lot going on at Rio, including the appointment of a new resort president, longtime casino executive Patrick Miller. Miller’s hiring arrives on the heels of word the current president, Trevor Scherrer, is stepping down due to medical reasons. But wait, there’s more! We’ve also got security breach pics at Lapa Lounge (replacing Rio’s […]

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There’s a lot going on at Rio, including the appointment of a new resort president, longtime casino executive Patrick Miller. Miller’s hiring arrives on the heels of word the current president, Trevor Scherrer, is stepping down due to medical reasons.

But wait, there’s more! We’ve also got security breach pics at Lapa Lounge (replacing Rio’s lobby lounge, iBar) and a new restaurant, Luckley Tavern & Grill, replacing the All-American Bar & Grill.

We’ve got all the deets, which is the way our fellow kids say “details,” because not saying that additional syllable saves tons of time which could better be spent having “experiences” like eating cheese sandwiches at music festivals, protesting things they don’t understand or not having sex as often as their grandparents.

If we don’t make a joke about maracas every 30-45 days, we may actually die of an aneurysm.

First, Patrick Miller. Who is having just as much sex as his grandparents, trust us.

According to Rio and its owner Dreamscape, “He held key positions within MGM Resorts International, including Senior Vice President overseeing the Hospitality divisions at MGM Grand, New York-New York, Excalibur, Signature, and the Shadow Creek golf course. His most notable role was as the President and COO at Park MGM and NoMad Hotel, where he spearheaded the transformative half-billion-dollar renovation of Monte Carlo to Park MGM.”

Oh, stop rolling your eyes. Undeniabe blandness aside, Park MGM is fine and has to be making more money than Monte Carlo did.

Welcome, Patrick! Now, what’s the most Bruno Mars has lost in one session of blackjack or baccarat? Just between us.

MGM Resort is a reliable casino resort operator, and those in its ranks tend to be experienced and competent. These days, MGM Resorts doesn’t actually own casinos, it operates them. The company’s era of big ideas (like CityCenter or paid parking) has come and gone. Now, it’s a tenant for REITs. Long story.

Our dream is Patrick Miller has been living under the oppressive yoke of MGM Resorts, and now he will truly come into his own at Rio, fulfilling on the promise Rio can return to its former glory.

Rio’s direction has already been set, and someone with a strong operations background is just what the doctor ordered. Yes, doctors used to order things, apparently. Presumably, medicine to cure something. Nevada probably isn’t the best place to use this idiom, as many patients suffering from paper cuts have died under the care of Nevada physicians.

Anyway, Dreamscape is convinced it can turn Rio around and has invested a metric ass-ton in doing just that.

Which brings us to Lapa Lounge and Luckley Tavern & Grill.

Lapa Lounge is just inside the hotel’s main entrance.

Samba music is popular in Lapa, Rio de Janeiro. Samba, with its irresistible batucada rhythm, inspires people to dance, frequently resulting in pregnancy or a broken hip.

Here’s a look at the construction inside Lapa Lounge at Rio.

The new lounge will open in June. Chop-chop, construction dudes.

Here’s what the lounge will end up looking like if all goes according to plan.

Jaguars and monkeys and hooch, oh, my.

It wasn’t clear from the rendering if there would be gambling at the lounge bar, but there are glorious holes for such activity in the actual bar. Dibs on the band name Glorious Holes, by the way.

Bars without gambling leave money on the table. Just ask Fontainebleau.

Everything was stripped down to the bones, and here’s how this new lounge is described by Rio: “Infused with the vibrant energy of Lapa, the lounge’s design exudes an eclectic fusion of Rio De Janeiro’s Tijuca National Forest charm and the chic allure of local high-end establishments. Stepping into the Lobby bar, guests are greeted by a spectacle: a ceiling adorned with golden-textured brass monkeys and jaguars, encircling a stunning blown glass chandelier straight from the heart of Italy. Bathed in a warm glow, the honey onyx bar top radiates alongside reclaimed teak accents and daring animal-inspired patterns in vivid red and green fabrics. Anchoring the space, the veined black marble floor emanates sophistication, completing the ambiance of refined luxury.”

They were going to call this lounge the Tijuca Bar, but it sounded too much like “The Hooker Bar,” for which Rio was known for many years prior to Dreamscape taking over.

Now you know why Rio both loves and hates us. We could not agree more with their assessment of us.

This ceiling contouring is prevalent in the casino, but adjustments are being made in this area next to the Lapa Lounge to accommodate some of the new, big-ass slot machines.

We also snuck in to see the construction at Luckley Tavern & Grill. By “snuck in,” of course, we mean Rio invited us over to take a look, but pretending it’s a “security breach” just makes it sound sexier.

Yep, that’s the former All-American bar. No way MGM Resorts would let us share pics like this. No pressure, Patrick Miller.

Here’s the description of Luckley, despite our hope the Supreme Court will at some point ban news releases in America: “Drawing inspiration from the idyllic Cotswold hills of the English countryside, Luckley Tavern & Grill encapsulates the convivial atmosphere of traditional pubs and the essence of warm hospitality. Reflecting its namesake’s welcoming ethos, the restaurant beckons guests to immerse themselves in a culinary adventure filled with hearty flavors and friendly vibes.”

The food will be American, thankfully. All due respect to our Brits!

Luckley Tavern opens in June, too. Insert juvenile “wood” joke here.

And those new venues are just part of the story of Rio’s rebirth.

Rio is becoming a Hyatt hotel, which is fantastic marketing databasewise.

The entire exterior of Rio has been relit, with programmable LEDs, which make it spectacular.

Rooms have been renovated, the pool complex has been overhauled, the marquees have been upgraded and Rio’s new food court is buzzworthy.

Another big move at Rio: The hotel’s Wine Cellar has reopened. Here’s the official site.

In Greek, the word for wine was “oeno,” as in, “I had a lot of wine last night. Oeno, where did I leave my thong?”

Caesars Entertainment, which previously owned and operated Rio, took most of the wine with them, but the Wine Cellar at Rio has been restocked. Some places tout their aged wine, but the Wine Cellar has lots of fresh wine! (Fun fact: This oenophile joke was first made in 1926.)

In Greek mythology, the “Oenotropae” were the three daughters of Anius and Dryope. We’d pause to make an Anius joke, but we’re really more interested in the names of the daughters: Oeno produced wine. Spermo produced seed. Elais produced olive oil, for which Popeye should be eternally grateful.

Anyway, dibs on Spermo as a superhero name.

Spermo would fight crime, eat lots of pineapple and have webbing like Spiderman, but stickier.

Mice have longer sperm than elephants. This was today’s thing you will never see in a Las Vegas Review-Journal story about the Rio. You’re welcome.

One of the best pieces of news out of Rio is the return of Wine Cellar Manager Hung Nguyen. It took a minute, but that “well Hung” joke finally paid off.

Nguyen (pronounced “win”) is a legend at the Wine Cellar, and stuck it out at Rio for several years while the Wine Cellar’s future was being decided. It never reopened after the pandemic, but Nguyen believed it would return, so he slugged it out in whatever venue needed him, including VooDoo Steak and, wait for it, Starbucks.

Nguyen has an encyclopedic knowledge of wine and his laugh is infectious. If Rio could figure out a way to bottle Hung Nguyen, they’d make bank.

Hung Nguyen is a Las Vegas institution and must be protected at all costs, despite this serious face which is nothing like the actual Hung Nguyen.

There’s a lot more happening at Rio, but we do not “take notes,” per se.

One of the more startling changes at Rio is overhead. As the ceiling is getting a facelift, it’s helpful to view this side-by-side comparison of fresh paint and 30 years of cigarette smoke.

If you don’t think it’s time to end smoking in casinos, you shouldn’t be allowed to vote, procreate or operate a motor vehicle.

We trust new Rio president Patrick Miller will hit the ground running and Rio will be smoke-free like Park MGM before you know it! Just kidding. Don’t get us started.

We’re rooting for Rio, and Dreamscape has been making a lot of great decisions and investing in what many considered a lost cause. While Rio’s reputation was a smidge tarnished in recent years due to neglect, the ongoing transformation is bound to change some minds, as it did ours, about the prospects of success for this once-beloved off-Strip underdog.

More to come!

Which might be Spermo’s catchphrase, come to think of it.

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